When we last left off, I was being put under for surgery. I am told the surgery went great and there were no complications. For three reasons I do not remember much about waking up:
- This was nigh on a decade ago.
- Anesthesia
- Oxycodone. I think it was Oxycodone? It might have been Dilaudid.
I do remember some things. I mentioned that I’d brought two friends with me. I VIVIDLY recall one of them looming over my bed as I woke and she asked me – and I quote – “Can I see your catheter?”
Dear reader. I have to be fully honest with you right here and now. I have not an ounce of shame. I told her that I don’t care if she looks. I don’t remember if she did, but knowing her? I would not be surprised. I believe my family was also present at this point. My brother bought me a little vase of white roses and some purple flowers. From this point onward I was pretty solidly sleepy.
So, fun things that happen when you have any sort of neurology-adjacent treatment. You get neuro checks. Every hour on the hour a nurse will come in and make sure that your brain is okay. They do this by asking you a number of questions (your name, your birth date, do you know the date of today, do you know the year, do you know where you are, do you know who the president is?) and they will shine a flashlight right into your eyeballs despite the fact that you were JUST sleeping and you want to continue sleeping and your head hurts. It’s not great.
Another thing about embolizations that I didn’t mention before: Depending on the type of closure that was used on your incision, you will have to lay completely flat and do not move your lower body at all for up to 8 hours, because, you know. An artery was opened. So I had to lay flat for x amount of time, but that was okay, I was sleepy.
Then came the magical moment in which I was allowed to sit up. This meant that I was also allowed to eat and drink. I was in desperate need of beverages because I hadn’t had anything to drink since the previous night, and also I had been intubated during surgery. My throat was scratchy. The first drink of ginger ale was like heaven, and then the turkey sandwich… It was JUST a turkey sandwich. Bread, turkey, cheese, but God I was hungry and in that moment it was the best sandwich.
Over the next few hours I was sporadically awake but mostly asleep. My family left after I came out of recovery and was declared Still Alive, so it was me and my friends and various hospital staff. I was mostly unconscious and my friends just had chairs, so I imagine it was around this time that they began to regret tagging along.
At some point in the early afternoon the day after surgery the nurses gave me a sock and I was a free elf. I was given a prescription for steroids (dexamethasone, for the medically inclined) and not for any pain killers – this will be relevant later. My friends went to get the car and a nurse escorted me to the front door (in a wheel chair, because if you trip and fall while on hospital property you can sue).
The ride home is mostly a blur. I was still mostly out of it, I remember we stopped at mcdonalds and I got nuggets and a shamrock shake. Then I came home and probably went to sleep? Maybe I played some video games first. I know I did a lot of sleeping.
Things go downhill in the next entry, my friends.
On the other side of the scar... 